14 April 2015


I've always been a planner. Agendas, calendars, different coloured pens and sticky notes have forever been my best friends. I like to know what lies ahead, and by gosh do I love to plan accordingly.

I had a plan. A big plan. A four year long plan. Then my life was put through the ringer and here I am. Plans have changed.

I've tried to adjust accordingly. I have tried to pick myself up, dust myself off and start fresh. But sometimes you cannot start fresh. There's nothing fresh about this chapter in my life. It's confusing, it's new, it's strange and boy is it ever unplanned.

It wasn't my only option, to start to rebuild my life. I could have very easily tried to persevere, and continue on with said Four Year Plan. I'm not naive enough to say I didn't have a choice - there's always a choice. However, the choice I made was one that was both the hardest and the most obvious.

Scratch the plans. Dive on into the unknown.

As an adventure-seeker, you'd think this would be something that would entice me; something that would intrigue me and get me all excited. And 9 times out of 10 you'd be correct. Not this time, though. This time I'm riddled with fear, anxiety and I don't have my coloured pens or agenda to plan it all out. I'm pen-less. Without pen.

There are a few pieces that I still need to pick up, and I promise that I am working on it.

I know I'll get there. I really do know this. I'm a passionate, creative, inspired and hardworking individual who still has big plans, regardless of the fact that my most recent plan fell apart. So it's not that I'm lacking faith in the not-so-distant future. It's more that I'm in this standstill that I'm having a little trouble getting out of.

I'm sensing a major shift in my life; a major shift in my plans. I'm just trying to figure out where this shift is taking me. I'm trying to decipher what it is that I'm meant to be doing right now.

1 comment:

  1. I know exactly how you feel about this, I found myself in a similar mindset last year and I am taking my own steps to finding what I want to feel and achieve, it's getting better! Katie x

    I agree whole heartedly with these three lovely ladies! Celebrate the girl crushes proudly I say!